"proud to be white"

my friend phillipe, who(m?) i will meet when i get to america, has a very interesting post on his blog about racism, the dangers of a soporific "feel-good" society, and treating issues like affirmative action without reference to history; it's called "proud to be white". i read through the whole post as well as the lengthy comments, and i really recommend the lot. the themes of power-privilege and justice-oneness are what i'm studying right now, in my online FUNDAEC course "Constructing A Conceptual Framework For Social Action".

my personal reaction is kind of like liz w.'s. i felt not only uncomfortable with the "poem" that is quoted in the post but also really sad. i think what i felt was sadness. and i think it was this emotion because the tone of the poem doesn't seem to be in a spirit of understanding, of learning, of sharing and of unity. on the contrary, throughout it is a series of accusations and defiant rebuttals. and when dialogue is generated from such a starting point as this, what unity can be hoped for? that really does make me sad.* because for what other purpose should we communicate with each other? to voice anything, in the first place? i am a fan of mindfulness in contributions to discourse: is this insightful? is this tactful? is this appropriate? is this timely?

* unless abi thinks that i'm misnaming my feelings (a thought that crosses my mind once or thrice as i'm writing.)

phillipe says that this kind of outspoken narrow-mindedness is refreshing. i'm not american, and i've never lived there. especially after a conversation with my sister-in-law about the MTV show "Boondocks", i think that i just don't get some things about race in america. so although i definitely prefer it when people are honest about their feelings (instead of hypocrisy), i can't be enthusiastic about a statement whose only purpose seems to me to be to Shout Loudly. and Meanly.

although i have been attacked on the basis of my "race" (in new zealand, to some, i am "black"; or i was in the nineties), one of the commenters raised the connection between racism and sexism: one of the more minor gendered experiences in my life was while i was at university, in sydney, australia. the campus was enormous, sprawling over green fields and a lake, and the university catered to 40,000 students. a tiny pocket of the buildings of this campus was designated a "women's space". and it was just a room. a SMALL room. okay, so it had a coveted microwave. one afternoon after class i was talking with some male friends about this that and the other (we were all taking Philosophy 101) when the subject of this women's room arose. they were (laughingly) outraged at the injustice: "Why isn't there a 'men's space' for us, then?"

on the one hand, i could tell that they thought the idea of a separate space or room for a people was to them a kind of ridiculous thought in the first place, perhaps because it seemed weak, or precious, or just weird. but on the other hand it was like they were treating this ridiculous women's space with completely a-historical and thoughtless humour. "What do you mean, you want a 'men's space'?" i cried, "The whole world is a men's space!"

it's true that i didn't make too many friends at varsity. these guys, bless them, stuck with me despite my rabid feminist earnestness and awkward grammar.

on another note, i know also from my limited experience studying Aboriginal history in australia (and i'm not australian) how debilitating and absolutely depressing---paralyzing---the unalloyed sense of shame can be. i don't think that anyone should be ashamed of who they are. all of us, individually and collectively, make mistakes many, many times in the pursuit of happiness and goodness. but to acknowledge mistake, grieve for the trauma of it all, work collegially to Make Things Better does not play into the "Pride Or Shame of Race" Game. that whole method seems to me to be completely fruitless.

i'm too tired to finish this post gracefully. i'm off to the Galilee for the weekend. and if i can get to sleep tonight, i have to wake up early.

cheerio!
love from leila

p.s. i can't wait to come to america. and learn learn learn.